Bush Threatens Sanctions Against Ahmadinejad

I've written before that the news never changes. One might go so far as to say a great deal of it is 'cookie cutter journalism." That, of course, is not to put down all of the fine journalists out there who work so hard to get truly objective nonbiased news. However, I think for much of the news, one just needs to pull something out of archives, almost anything really, change a few names, a few places, a few "facts," and amazingly there is today's latest.

That said, I was in deep contemplation of this when the following floated across my computer screen. Falling down, down, down into the pit of my deep seated feelings that there is not enough laughter in the world, I had to share this with you. Enjoy!












Bush: Ahmadinejad Must Dismantle Last Name
Threatens Sanctions Against Polysyllabic Leader

The war of words between the United States and Iran heated up today as President George W. Bush demanded that Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad dismantle his last name or face serious sanctions.

Speaking from the Rose Garden at the White House, Mr. Bush made it clear that he believed Mr. Ahmadinejad’s possession of a difficult-to-pronounce, polysyllabic last name was a provocative act that the United States was not prepared to tolerate.

“The time has come for the Iranian president to make a choice,” Mr. Bush warned. “Does he want to continue down this dangerous, polysyllabic path, or does he want to join the community of peace-loving, monosyllabic world leaders?”

Under a plan being floated through diplomatic channels, Mr. Ahmadinejad’s last name would be subject to U.N. inspections and then dismantled syllable by syllable, ultimately
to be stored in a secure U.S. military facility in Tennessee.

Mr. Bush’s warning to President Ahmadinejad predictably garnered the support of several of his monosyllabic counterparts, such as Britain’s Tony Blair, South Korea’s Roh Moo Hyun and the Czech Republic’s Václav Klaus.

But his strong rhetoric was less warmly received by members of the so-called “polysyllabic movement,” led by Equatorial Guinea’s President Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo.

“We in the polysyllabic movement were offended by the president’s remarks,” Mr. Mbasogo said. “If Mr. Bush can pronounce the word ‘polysyllabic,’ he should have no problem with ‘Ahmadinejad.’”

Elsewhere, U.S. software mogul Charles Simonyi said that he agreed to pay $25 million to travel on board the Russian Soyuz TMA-10 spaceship only after repeatedly failing to travel on JetBlue.

From: Borowitzreport.com/